Seek the Truth beyond Tradition, Definition or Image
It has been a while since I blogged. So much has been happening. This is not only my birthday year but a year of great changes. For the first time, I have truly entered my darkness. The place inside myself, deeper than my soul and deeper than this life itself!! The place where I hide all my fears and unfulfilled wishes and dreams!! The place where I store the things I do not like about myself!! The place where I hide the things I do not want to look at.
The hard part about that is , when I hide something, it still rules my life. It does not disappear. So many times I dance the dance of childhood and sing the songs I sang then, yet I am now an adult.
I forget that that time is so passed and I must seek new beginnings. I forget that nothing will change unless I change it!! And, moving from the wounds of the past into the joy of the present is sometimes a task, but it is my task!!
The wheel of the year moves into the dark period after Sonheim or Halloween. The days are shorter, and the darkness overwhelms the sun. As I move into the darkness of this time, I celebrate the darkness of that holiday. In the tradition of the old religion, the year settles into a time of rest. In that old tradition, that is the beginning of the new year. I like that the new year begins with rest.
The new moon of November is called the Crone Moon. The Crone is the time when life slows up. It is the time when we look deep into the wisdom of our ancestors.
Periods of change usually begin with a flurry of activity. But, this view of the year reflects in the wisdom of our lives and the lives of those who have gone before and those who will follow after. We begin with a time of rest. A gathering in of our souls, and a looking deep into ourselves.
I see my deeper darker moments. I wonder how I am being led by the wounds of my childhood. What emotions do I carry forward?? What feelings and conclusions and convictions are leading my life now. Have I looked closely and studied. Have I considered that it is within my power to make a choice ? Why do I still hold the same convictions? Why do I still hold the same beliefs about myself and the world around me??
But, this night meditating on it all, my spirit friends show me that the “why”, is unimportant. I do not need to know why to make a change. All I have to do is look deep into the things that I have encrusted my soul with. All I have to do is take responsibility. All I have to do is pick up courage and just look!! Then I begin the arduous process of discarding that which no longer serves me. It is a thing of joy to feel the release!! It is a thing of peace to finally comes to terms with my childhood and put aside the excess.
I feel the energy gathering!! I feel my soul stretching to expand!! Calling to me to let it go!!!!!!!!! To release it into the joy of the present!! To step into my power!!!!